Thanks to those of you who came out to Musee Mecanique. It was great meeting you all.
Sometimes you're sitting in a room and let's say you've been sitting there a while, in the same spot, working on something, focused, determined and then the light flickers. And for a moment your mind stops doing what it was doing and tries to figure out the reasoning behind the flickering light. Then, eventually, you go back to what you were doing... and... and well some people just get back on the same train and keep trying to chug along and some people take quick inventory of what they were focused on before the light flickered and realize that maybe it's time to get up and move around a bit.
I took inventory.
And now I'm moving.
"I made a decision today..." I say this as I pick away at the remaining cover of the chair. I hear the clamoring of glasses, raspy laughs, long sighs.
"And... that is what?" He takes another long sip of his fernet and checks his phone for the 100th time.
"I am officially, and I mean that... like solid ground officially, done with him."
I roll my eyes. But it's a true statement. I am juggling hims and forgetting names and confusing events more often lately.
"E.B. I am done. I have to be. I have officially deleted all phone evidence and spent hours last night looking up how to forget things like phone numbers. There are some weird youtube videos and for a while I couldn't remember my birthday but I think it's erased now."
He laughs harder. "Skye, why? You were adamant about winning him back. You have been for weeks. What happened?"
I look down and shrug. I feel my face getting hot and my eyes welling up.
"It's all head games. Texting back, not texting back. Not answering things when I ask, but leaving with innuendos. It's not getting me anywhere. And I'm done chasing. I'm tired. I'm tired and I can't keep crying about it."
He rubs my shoulder and kisses my forehead.
"He's an idiot and an asshole. I'm sorry. So what about Justin?"
I laugh and finish off my vodka.
"He dumped me last night. I am too much work he said. 'It just seems like a lot of work' he said. He gave me a long hug before he walked away. The story of my life. Long hugs, lingering looks. Wah wah. I couldn't convince an ant to stick around even if I had an endless supply of sugar."
He laughs again. This time with the saddest look on his face.
"Fuck em all," I say "fuck em all. And the studio audience erupts into applause and laughter and the sad girl sitting at home toasts the tv."
So after a few days and some long thoughtful self talks I (being this blog) am now on indefinite hiatus.
Good luck, friends. Thank you all for reading as often as you did.