07 November 2015

Self restraint is real right now.

Because missing you and knowing I would pack up and catch a plane in a minute is overwhelming.

But I sit still and quiet.
I hold my breath and count to 10.
I smile and nod and run my fingers through my long messy hair.

I write to you and delete it.
I create voice memos and listen to them and erase them.

My marshmallow heart won't let me get over it.
And even if things were different, there wouldn't be a difference.
But I will sit still and quiet.
Just like you want me.
Cause you've got me.
Even if you don't want me.

I'm working hard at hard working.
At self restraint.
At self reflecting.

Because missing you and knowing I would pack up and catch a plane in a minute is overwhelming.



(this will be my last post until resolution. and my last post until i get what i want.)


-xo

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