03 October 2015

this isn't what I signed up for, you know? I didn't come here to do this to hope that maybe you'd finally see that I was worthy and valuable and once an important part of something that you had planned and scammed.
Cause you scammed me.
this isn't what I was asking for, you know? I didn't put the signs out on telephone poles with the hope that you'd actually come home. Nothing went missing but everything and I became ok with the remainder.
Cause you took it all.
this isn't what I was looking for, you know? I wasn't reaching out to get saved. I didn't make it a point to make you a point in the nights sky. It's just what you were when I met you and what you became when you left me.
Cause the dark is still dark no matter the light.
this isn't what I was thinking about, you know? I wasn't fetal position crying myself to sleep in a separate room for attention. I wasn't. I was sleeping pill induced, under fed and over calculated just to get by. I just needed to get by.
Cause sadness is as sadness does.
this isn't what I planned for, you know? There was no forethought on when you came back and how I would handle it. And my stomach hit the floor the day your name lit up a phone even if I always told myself you'd come back. because i never could believe my own hopes.
Cause love is love is love...loves misery loves company loves...

well...

-xo

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